Another long holiday weekend filled with …. Nothing.
I told my husband, ‘we Must not Fight’.
Our four children, half of whom are his but all of whom we have full time 24/7 care of, will grow up as I did … dreading holidays because it meant mom and dad would be together more than the standard two days and arguing.
I have duly noted that the healthiest of families out there have extended families where, especially when children are young, they are given breaks every now and then, grandparents who pick them up from ballet, Aunts who take them to the city, Uncles who come over and sit and laugh with dad in the backyard at a barbeque.
I have tried to make up for this Lack by my blog and my playgroups and face book, but on holiday weekends, everyone seems to be doing family stuff.
And oh my, it’s get lonely.
When you are truly alone, at least you can compensate, go out and get your mind off of things: a walk, a concert, a movie, a day trip, whatever.
But when you are taking care of four children aged two to fourteen, the balancing act never stops.
Yesterday, my fourteen year old must have walked the entire four mile square of our city with his friends, and I tried to keep up with what he was doing and with whom which involved several conversations of logistics and frequent nay saying.
My twelve year old had three friends over which meant scattered sports equipment all over our front yard and the chaos and noise of four preteen children.
My five year old just wanted to play with Someone. ‘Why can’t we go over our Aunt’s? Why can’t my cousin play?’
And my two year old was just my two year old – messy and cute and demanding constant attention.
And a severely frustrating call with AT&T trying to change my fourteen year old’s phone involving three disconnects, two trips to the local store where his phone got disconnected in the process and an argument over $40 extra a month, my husband went down and lost it … at my twelve year old.
And then I went down with the ship as well and lost it because my twelve year old son has had this attitude lately that twelve year old boys tend to have and there’s been an awfully lot of yelling involved lately, some of it deserved and some of it not.
But it was in the end, as it often is: Too. Much. With No Breaks.
So this is my post to vent and swim a bit in that river of self pity,
And Also to say, when you have small children, this Paddle Your Own Canoe Shit is Bullshit.
Complete and utter bullshit.
If your brother or your sister or your daughter or son has small children under the age of five:
OFFER TO HELP OUT EVERY NOW AND THEN.
And if you have this in your life, Get Down on Your Knees and Thank Them.
Then go enjoy that burger for Me.