To Nicole who publicly reads my Facebook posts without being my friend,
I want you to know that over the past few weeks,
I have been slowly falling in love with your brother.
Watching him as he handles this difficult time
On his own
As I Am
Watching him unselfishly make choices in my benefit and in our children’s benefit
Watching him willing to take a good long look at himself
And make changes if that is what needs to be done
Watching him find the man he really is
Underneath all that protective muck he built up around himself
And yesterday as I went to the same courtroom where I was
Three years earlier taking my ex-husband back to court
Eerily reliving this opportunity Life is giving me to
Learn a little bit More and Live a little better
My lawyer mentioned our monthly budget and the
Financial papers that I had filled out …
And of course, being that right now, there is not a way of
Making that budget,
Your brother’s voice cracked a bit, as he said,
‘Karen, look I know this has been hard on you,
But I have been under a lot of stress as well ..
Don’t you see ..’
And my lawyer interrupted him and said,
“Yes, both of you are going through
Some very rough times, and
I would suggest
That you Not Compare Cuts.
I would suggest
That instead you be
Extra Gentle with each other
Especially in the midst of
Everything going on.’
Extra Gentle.
I like that.
And maybe, just maybe if we had grown up
Surrounded by that advice
We would not have found ourselves in this mess right now.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
By Rudyard Kipling
What a kind thing for your lawyer to say. All too often we do compare cuts, trying to prove who hurts the most. It takes hard work to learn to be extra gentle, not only with others, but with ourselves. It’s a beautiful thing to watch the both of you try to change what used to be into something much gentler and kinder. I wish the both of you luck as you find your way through all of this. It isn’t an easy task that is before either of you, but the hope you both have is so very palpable. One day at a time.
Thank you for the support and well wishes. ❤