“I do think that women could make politics irrelevant; by a kind of spontaneous cooperative action the like of which we have never seen; which is so far from people’s ideas of state structure or viable social structure that it seems to them like total anarchy — when what it really is, is very subtle forms of interrelation that do not follow some heirarchal pattern which is fundamentally patriarchal. The opposite to patriarchy is not matriarchy but fraternity, yet I think it’s women who are going to have to break this spiral of power and find the trick of cooperation.”
― Germaine Greer
I have been hosting my Moon Lodges for over a year now – twice a month in my Moon Lodge in the backyard.
I, of course, spend time on them, preparing for them, cleaning, setting up, finding child care, but I LOVE them. They recharge my soul.
Some very hard days, they have been the only thing I look forward to. During the sometimes solitary drudge of being a stay at home mom of many little ones, they give my mind positive paths to go running down. And if you read my post here:
… you can see that I also think they have been instrumental in a ton of growth in life.
As many of you have probably noticed, it appears that I have found a passion in my life. And to that end, I intend to help promote and establish more women’s circles.
With all of that in mind, with the reading that I have been doing and with conversations that I have had with other experienced women involved with circles, I wanted to introduce some changes to my women’s circle and brought these up at last night’s circle.
The changes, for the most part, went over like a lead balloon. I am not going to go into the specifics, except to say that if I did institute these changes, then I would have to find seven different women than my seven regular women who have been coming.
The three that came said this in no uncertain terms.
This morning, as life often does, I woke up to read Germaine’s quote above as posted by a friend of mine on Facebook, and it occurred to me that my women’s circle is an awesome microcosm of what women bring to the table and how to handle conflict.
When I brought up the changes that I would like to make, we discussed what I wanted and why I wanted it. And then we discussed why they could not do it.
They made it clear that if I did that, they would, sadly, not be able to attend any more.
I experienced a bit of the normal ‘f’ you’ reaction, THIS is what it SHOULD be, and if you all are not going to do it, I’m very sorry, but I’m going to have to find other women who will …
And then I sat with that thought.
And realized what I would have to give up to do that.
I realized that even though we have not reached a finish line and even though we might not be at the same race or as far in the race, we have traveled together.
And then the amazing thing happened.
One of the women saw straight through to my soul and said exactly what I needed to hear, and it changed everything.
And then we discussed changes we could make; some of them part of what I wanted and some that I had not thought of but think are wonderful.
And THAT is how conflict should be handled.
And THAT is what Germaine Greer’s quote is about.
And THAT is why women’s circles are powerful.
Each one becomes its own unique world with its own needs, and just like in life, changes are most often started with small steps. It is not MY women’s circle, it belongs to the eight of us, and as such, it is a liquid, flowing entity.
We all have our own opinions, needs, paths, and each of us should be strong and confident enough to speak these and then to truly listen and cooperate.
Women’s Circles. It seems so very simple, but it’s so very powerful.